Wednesday, July 18, 2007
........
im damn depressed now. my piano exam.
i screwed everything up. i was in a bad mood before e exam. during physics i already vv scared liao lor. coz i dun hv time to practice at all... it was rly rush. i forgot to call my father during recess. everything got cocked up. i called my dad after physics, to tell him to fetch me. he scolded me lik im not a human. after hearing everything i cried man. embarrassing ok. lol. i cry is vv.. -.- one..first time. crying in sch.. haiix. i cannot take it le wad. its like.. im already so nervous,scared, hes making me even more lah. down dere shout shout shout. tsk. nv even think about my feelings lah. tsk. forget it. dey wont bother caring bout ppl.. hes so.. haiix.. cant he at least spare me e scoldings etc when its MY EXAM. hello~?!?! dont he noe tt it will affect me? tsk. n got down at lot 1. my dad was damn pissed when i told him lot 1s not e actual venue. tsk. den i tell him i go myself lor. tsk. since if i stay dere oso cannot tahan one. i already keep myself mum for e whole trip dere lo. sian. tsk. actually im not suppose to go sch one lor. that yt, wy nv tell me... -.- my dad oso dun let me pon sch anw.. tsk. less than one hr till exam starts.. haiix. hes says if i fail dis exam den i wont b learning again.. im so sad can. haiix. i forgot to take my wallet with me. so i cant eat my lunch. -.- i've to wait dere. all alone. by myself. sad case. my FIRST piano exam experience is lik that. haiix. i oso dunoe wad to do dere lo. haiix. i hear ppl practicing den bcome damn pressurize..in e exam studio.. an ang moh examiner dere... haiix.. im e first one after e break lo. haiix. rly gone case lah. even more cham den my normal prac lor. i dunoe wad to say already. scales play until no sound come out. n i kept making mistakes. exam pieces, same thing. cannot hear properly[as in sound produce not gd, not saying tt e piano no gd, is i press until too soft]. not smooth. sight reading. i dont noe wad im doing nv count nv prepare. haiix. all i can say is i m seriously dead. e piece is rly clean lor. no flats, no sharps. no dotted rhythm. no diff stuffs. i DONT KNOW WTH IS WRONG WIT ME. aural. echoes lik zao siah. taping test..hope i get correct bah. HAIIX. thou e examiner vv friendly etc, i cannot clam myself down. haiix. down with flu n cough still muz go exam.. haiix. after e exam, went back to sch. coz yan fu meeting wit me n daniel.. yea. i was so damn emo when i go back lah. haiix. but after awhile im back to normal le bah..? haix..
i cant expect myself to get good results. i noe it myself.. haiix.
emo-ness.
sadsad.